


dear mayoi-san

by htos



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26319682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/htos/pseuds/htos
Summary: Tatsumi looked to either side before opening his notebook, as if what he was doing had to remain a secret between him and God.Dear Mayoi-san,
Relationships: Ayase Mayoi/Kazehaya Tatsumi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 77





	dear mayoi-san

**Author's Note:**

> i cant stop thinking about tatsumi's big crush on mayoi, he honestly just asks him out on a date at the end of the weekend confessional story??? whats up with that lol
> 
> so i wanted to write tatsumi pining for mayoi

Meal time with Alkaloid was always lively. 

Today the four of them had a table all to themselves in the cafeteria, with Hiiro at Aira’s side and Mayoi at Tatsumi’s. Tatsumi couldn’t help but think Hiiro and Aira were sweet kids, they always seemed excited about something. Today was no exception, and the hot topic at the lunch table was how Aira just could not believe that Hiiro didn’t know what crepes were.

“Tattsun-senpai is old fashioned, but even he’s had a crepe before, right?” Aira asked, throwing Tatsumi into a discussion that he had previously been spectating. He was a bit surprised to be dragged into it, it seemed like Hiiro and Aira had forgotten that he and Mayoi were even there.

“Fufu,” Tatsumi smiled, “I have indeed; I’m quite partial to the ones with fresh fruits.” Of course he didn't want Mayoi to be left out, so he asked, “Mayoi-san, what about you? Do you like crepes?”

Mayoi averted his eyes, incredibly interested in the cup of grape jelly he was holding, offering a quiet, “I-I like them, sweet ones are my favorite…” Once he thought Tatsumi would be satisfied with his answer he put the cup down and fidgeted with his fingers in his lap, Aira and Hiiro picking up the discussion. Tatsumi watched Mayoi’s chest rise and fall with every breath, as if he had just run a marathon rather than contribute one line to a leisurely group discussion.

“That settles it!” Aira proclaimed, and Tatsumi let his attention wander from Mayoi, “Hiro-kun, we’re getting crepes! Next thing you know you’re gonna tell me you’ve never had bubble tea before!”

“What’s—“

“Oh my gosh, Hiro-kun let’s go! Tattsun-senpai, Mayo-san, _we gotta go_ , you understand right?”

Tatsumi nodded, covering his mouth to hide a smile; those two kids were adorable. Empty trays in one hand, they held each other’s hands with the other as Aira led Hiiro to the tray return, then out toward the city. 

That must be nice. 

Last time he tried to hold Mayoi’s hand (well, _last time_ was the _first time_ ) Mayoi declined, saying Tatsumi was so pure that he would probably start burning if they touched.

If anything, Tatsumi thought he should be the one to start burning.

“Mayoi-san,” Tatsumi broke the silence that appeared as Hiiro and Aira left, “Would you like to get crepes as well? Just the two of us.” Perhaps if it was the two of them it would be fine, he knew Mayoi didn’t like to be around too many people. Mayoi also liked crepes! It was perfect. 

Mayoi tapped his nails against the table anxiously, and Tatsumi felt a sinking sensation growing in his stomach the longer he took to reply. “Umm,” Mayoi started, “I don’t think… I mean… I’m busy, I’m sorry…” he apologized, his restless hands now twirling the end of his braid around a finger, “You’d probably enjoy yourself more with someone else anyway... not someone like me.”

There it was. Tatsumi forced a smile, though he was sure it looked genuine, “I don’t think that at all Mayoi-san, but if you’re busy I don’t want to trouble you.” He wanted to add a _‘maybe some other time’_ , but decided against it. Mayoi seemed to waste no time getting up, hitting his knee against the table in the process, before apologizing to Tatsumi and disappearing into goodness knows where. Tatsumi swore he looked away for only a second, but Mayoi and his tray were both gone.

It wasn’t the first time, and probably wouldn’t be the last, though Tatsumi couldn’t help but feel a bit rejected. He just wanted to spend some time with Mayoi, but perhaps that would be harder than it seemed, and it already seemed pretty hard to begin with. He was sure Mayoi didn’t _hate_ him, he definitely had his own thoughtful gestures, like designing choreography that didn’t overexert Tatsumi’s troublesome leg. Mayoi certainly wouldn’t do something like that if he disliked him.

Tatsumi picked up his tray, intent on returning to the dorm to relax. Somewhere along the way his phone buzzed, startling him from within his pants pocket. He wasn’t completely used to the device, and found himself squinting at the tiny screen as messages popped up one after another:

> _Aira-san: omg I’m so sorry_
> 
> _Aira-san: do u and mayonnaise wanna get crepes too??_
> 
> _Aira-san: OMG MAYO-SAN**_
> 
> _Aira-san: pls don’t tell him his name autocorrected to mayonnaise lol_

Tatsumi unlocked his phone and navigated to his messages.

> _Aira-san: i should have asked u before we left_
> 
> _Aira-san: I’m sorry!_
> 
> _Aira-san: we can come back and meet u guys_

How on earth did he send these messages so fast? The keyboard was so small. Was it because Aira had small hands? Tatsumi could see how that might be an advantage. 

He found himself struggling to reply, typing out ‘ _it’s ok_ ’ before hitting send.

> _Aira-san: what’s ok? U want us to come back?_

Aira misunderstood.

Tatsumi navigated to his contacts, pressing the tiny phone icon beside Aira’s name to give him a call.

“Hi Tattsun-senpai!” Aira answered the phone cheerfully, “I’m super sorry, we totally should have invited you two. Also you didn’t tell Mayo-san about the name thing, right?”

Tatsumi continued walking to the dorms, the glass screen of the phone warm against his ear, “It’s perfectly fine Aira-san, please enjoy your crepes without us. I also haven’t told Mayoi-san about your typing error.” He heard Aira sigh with relief on the other end, “Have fun with crepes and tea, I’ll see you and Hiiro-san this evening.”

“Okay, bye bye! Hiro-kun says bye too!” 

“Goodbye,” Tatsumi added, taking a peek at the phone to figure out how to end the call. Aira must have done something, because he was back on his contact screen. It was so difficult to get used to this thing.

The dorm was empty when Tatsumi returned. Hiiro and Aira were off getting crepes of course, and Mayoi was off doing whatever he does with his time. Tatsumi climbed into bed, and the soft mattress and blankets felt like they were cradling his exhausted legs. He picked up the notebook kept at his headboard, it was generally used for song lyric ideas, gardening notes, ideas for herb tea blends, or other such memos. Flipping to the next blank page, Tatsumi wondered what to write. He started with the date at the top, letting his pen wander down a few lines to an appropriate starting point.

It would be nice if he could come up with some new lyrics, or even anything else they could incorporate into their next live, but nothing was coming to him.

All he could think about was Mayoi. 

Tatsumi had no idea when it first started, maybe when he first saw the other boy, but he always felt… something. Mayoi was eccentric at times, but Tatsumi truly believed he had a kind heart. He was selfless and thoughtful, and honestly the more Tatsumi thought about it, the more inspired he felt to become a better person.

—But it also felt wrong to have such _deep_ feelings like this; feelings for someone who trusts and relies on you but clearly doesn’t feel the same. Mayoi obviously didn’t think of him that way, he kept rejecting him for goodness sake, but Tatsumi couldn’t help the fluttering in his chest when they so much as made eye contact. 

Before he knew it, he wrote Mayoi’s name on the paper. 

Perhaps writing about him could help shake off the thoughts? He could treat it as if he was in a confessional booth, and his notebook was the priest. He never had to show Mayoi what he wrote, _goodness no_ , but the more he thought about it the more cathartic it seemed.

> _Mayoi Ayase_

Tatsumi felt his cheeks flush just from writing his full name. How should he even start? Bullet points? Paragraphs? He thought back to Mayoi in the cafeteria earlier, his fingers tapping against the table.

> _Your hands look so soft. I hope you’ll let me hold them someday._

Was that too much? It felt a bit much. Tatsumi rest his hand against his face, his cheek warm against his palm. He would love to hold Mayoi’s hand as often as Aira held Hiiro’s.

Next line.

> _You act as though you’re a burden, but nothing would bring me greater joy than seeing you happy and healthy with a smile on your face._

Tatsumi wordlessly set his pen down, closing his notebook and letting it rest against his chest as he stared at the ceiling. His mind did feel a bit clearer, it was as if he got something off his chest without actually getting it off his chest. After a moment he flipped back to the page, rereading what he wrote and letting the words marinate in his mind.

What would it be like when— no, _if—_ he held hands with Mayoi? The other boy would probably be a bit hesitant, his grip weak. Tatsumi would lace their fingers together and give a comforting squeeze. Mayoi seemed like he would be quite innocent when it came to things like this...

Back to reality, it was probably a bad idea to have this kind of memo sitting in his notebook, so Tatsumi carefully removed the page. He contemplated crumpling it up and tossing it in the garbage, but it didn’t feel right to throw it away, these were his feelings after all. He carefully climbed down from his bunk and placed the page in an opaque plastic folder, then the folder was hidden in his wardrobe. 

The rest of his evening was spent working out some song lyrics, which were kept in the notebook for safekeeping. He showed Aira and Hiiro his progress once they returned, and in turn they told him about Hiiro’s first experience with crepes and bubble tea.

* * *

Tatsumi awoke for prayer first thing in the morning. The curtains surrounding everyone else’s beds were drawn, and they were no doubt still asleep. He quietly showered and dressed himself, but hesitated before he left the room, ultimately tucking his notebook and pen in his bag next to a bible before leaving.

The hanging gardens at ES were always quiet at this hour, and not a single soul was around as Tatsumi took a seat by the pond to begin his prayer. The natural environment was so relaxing, he could easily forget he was in the middle of a city, the only noise around him the rustling of leaves and the occasional splashing of fish in the pond.

“Amen…” Tatsumi murmured, closing his bible and letting the heavy book rest in his lap. The book once belonged to his father, and even the feeling of the pages reminded him of home. It was placed in his bag for safekeeping, and Tatsumi spied his notebook.

He got all of his Mayoi-related emotions out the previous day, but some part of him felt compelled to write more. He looked to either side before opening his notebook, as if what he was doing had to remain a secret between him and God.

> _Dear Mayoi-san,_

That made it feel more like a letter, as if he was confessing all of his thoughts and feelings via mail to the Mayoi within his mind.

> _You aren’t awake yet, I hope you’re having sweet dreams._
> 
> _Today I felt compelled to bring my memo pad with me as I awoke to do my morning prayer. I truly can’t stop thinking about you, and I’m so thankful to God for giving us the opportunity to have met in this lifetime. I hope I can share many more wonderful experiences with you._

Tatsumi removed the page in preparation to add it to the folder with the last one, sandwiching it between the cover and first page of the notebook for safekeeping. He added it to the folder first thing when he returned, and he was surprised to see Mayoi awake, though he was still sitting in bed. Hiiro and Aira had left to get breakfast as well, he must have taken more time than he thought.

“I’m going to get some breakfast,” Tatsumi announced. The intended recipient was obvious, it was only the two of them in the room. He added a, “Would you like to come too?” once Mayoi offered a _mmhm_ of acknowledgement.

“S-Sorry, I’m not hungry,” Mayoi murmured, still laying in bed.

Tatsumi decided to bring his notebook and pen with him to breakfast as well.

**Author's Note:**

> will mayoi ever return his feelings...? who knows... find out in a few chapters  
> (writing tatsumi pov is hard)


End file.
